When Personality Styles Go Too Far: Dealing with “Too-Much” People

You know the type. They dominate conversations, hijack meetings, and leave you feeling drained or invisible.

They’re not just expressing their personality style. They’ve turned it all the way up. Welcome to the world of Too-Much People.

Too-Much people look different for each style:

• The Too-Much Eagle: Confidence becomes arrogance. Assertiveness turns into aggressiveness. They take charge of everything and have to win even the smallest of points.
• The Too-Much Parrot: Optimism becomes unrealistic hype. Positivity turns toxic. They’re so upbeat it’s exhausting, and their energy is dialed up so high, you feel overwhelmed in their presence.
•  The Too-Much Dove: Empathy becomes emotional overwhelm. Support turns into self-sacrifice. They spiral quickly, viewing every problem through a deeply personal lens.
•  The Too-Much Owl: Logic becomes obsession. Accuracy turns into control. They cite rulebooks, real or imagined, and act like the moral authority in the room.

 Too-Much People are stuck in overdrive and it’s hard to be around them for an extended period.

Classic Signs You’re Dealing with a Too-Much Style

Here are a few examples of a Too-Much person in action:

The Conference Hijacker: It’s Q&A time. Someone raises their hand and launches into a five-minute TED Talk. They name-drop an author, a former president, and a famous musician. No question in sight, just a need to be the expert. They have insight and a willingness to share, but it’s Too-Much.

The Positivity Steamroller 

You’re quietly focused on getting work done. A colleague bursts in shouting, “It’s a great day to be alive!” You don’t need sunshine and rainbows. You need space. They have too much energy and too little awareness of how it impacts others.

Why It’s Hard to Read (or Reach) a Too-Much Person

When someone’s style dial is turned up too high, it actually gets harder to figure what style they are. The signal gets lost in the noise.

• Their intensity feels Eagly, but it’s actually Owl-like rigidity.
• Their emotional charge seems Dove-like, but it’s frustration from an unbalanced Parrot.
• Their desire to share all the details screams Owl, but it’s just Parrot who likes to talk, and just won’t stop.

Their style is so exaggerated, they’re hard to connect with and even harder to be around.

 So, What Can You Do?

You can’t always avoid Too-Much People, but you can stay grounded around them.

Here’s how:

•  Don’t match their intensity. You’ll only generate more energy.
• Set boundaries. You have the right to protect your time, space, and attention.
• See the person, not just the style. They’re not intentionally being difficult. They’re overwhelmed.
• Help them calm down. Express your needs. A little awareness can make a big difference.

We’ve all been too much at times. Make sure you notice when you’ve turned the dial up too high.

About the Author
Merrick Rosenberg is the author of Personality Intelligence: Master the Art of Being You, The Chameleon, and many other books for adults, students, and kids. He is the creator of the Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl personality approach. As an award-winning speaker and President of Take Flight Learning, Merrick teaches people how to understand themselves and others through the lens of personality, because when you know your style, you unlock your path.